Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
