Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
