Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
