so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
