The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
