She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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