I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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