so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im holly from the hills drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
