So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
