I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
