he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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