grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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