What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
