last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Randomize
