You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
