Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
