she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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