fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize