Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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