that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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