I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
