hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just high enough for therapy.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
