Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
