she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
