Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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