shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
