Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
