U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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