Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
