you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
