I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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