feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
