Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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