I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
