you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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