with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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