I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize