He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize