Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I smell stomach acid.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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