I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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