every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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