If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
