After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
