Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
