I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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