when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
