dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
