your room smells of hookers.
And success
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
