...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
