Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
