So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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