Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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