I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
