That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
