Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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