if you like me you must not know who I am
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
