People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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