The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
