thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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