He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
