I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
