Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
