plz talk dirty to me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
