It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
