you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
