you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
